Day Six

Whew.  This one was a doozy.

Okay, so I have been having mad cravings for cheese.  Like, daydreams of pizza, grilled cheese, ravioli and lasagna.  Oh.  But I managed to talk myself into a vegan sloppy joe and some baked sweet potato fries instead.  Winning!  That put the smackdown on that nasty voice in my head telling me to go for it. Feeling strong.  Until…

Sunday.  Day Six.  Just also happens to be the hubs' birthday.  And for his birthday, and for our children's birthdays, even my own birthday, I bake a cake.  A little gesture of love.  A from scratch gesture of love.  This years cake was chocolate.  Classic, heavenly, wonderful chocolate cake.  Did I mention my deep and abiding love for chocolate cake?  Yes, if I could have married and procreated with a chocolate cake, mind you, there would be the cutest little diapered chocolate cupcakes ransacking my house and screaming to high heaven as I type.  Alas, it's a union that's still frowned upon.  Someday, maybe.

So, here I am, cravings coming at me from all sides.  Having been cleansing slowly for a couple of weeks now, and this being almost an entire week of no dairy or wheat, well, you can bet those voices of resistance were loud, clear, and obnoxious.  "One must take time to celebrate," a properly toned demon suggested.  "Dude, it's your favorite!" another persuaded.  "Well you have to at least taste it to make sure it turned out okay!"  That one was the kicker.  As many chocolate cakes as I have enjoyed in my day, this was the very first one I'd ever actually baked.  So, what if it turned out terrible?  "Just taste it…"

I've got a will of steel when I want it.  I touched only the teeniest, tiniest tip of my pinky into the batter to make sure the substitutions I'd used hadn't ruined the cake.  It was correct.  Perfect in fact.  Couldn't I just allow this one little dalliance?  Surely my adoring public would understand!  No one would stop being my friend if I leaked the fact that out of 40 days I could only really commit to six.  Chocolate cake has that kind of power.

Still, I held on.  I licked no spoons.  I rinsed my chocolate fingers under the sink and went about the business of icing this piece of artistry.  Man, that icing smelled so good!  I then decided a plain old chocolate cake needed a bit of adornment, so I melted our favorite chocolate down and gave the cake a generous drizzle.  Agony!  I managed to not only cut and plate up 3 slices for my big and little men, I watched them enjoy each bite.  And honestly, the satisfaction of seeing those 3 fellas happily devouring the cake gave me a sense of pride.  Not only did I create something out of love for my sweet man on his birthday, I celebrated alongside him with my own sweet treat- my dignity.

Winning.

Ahh…  the sweet taste of victory.