Day Ten (and then some catching up to do!)

Ten whole days!  Woo-hoo!  I'm one quarter of the way to my goal- 40 days of clean eating, yoga, insight... you get the idea.

I can tell you that already I feel stronger, more powerful.  More from the place of will than the physical realm.  Never, ever in my life could I have conjured up a chocolate cake without having a piece.  Zaxby's has fried pickles back on the menu?!  And my friend has been posting about the most amazing looking Rueben sandwich lately…  my one and only beef weakness.  Still, I'm holding strong.

Aside from the willpower and (slight) weight loss, I'm feeling a real clarity of mind I haven't had since having babies.  Sleep deprivation is serious, and Mommy Brain is no myth.  It's probably been 4 years since I've completed a thought.  This fall, we are hunkering down with our Freeschooling goals, so I think this cleanse has been well-timed.  I feel better equipped to get connected with my 2 and 3 year old boys to make this happen.  Being a bit of a raw nerve, I feel like I've been better able to zone in on what these guys need and are trying to communicate.  The fact that their needs change almost constantly is all the more reason to stay clear and on my toes!




Well, it is now day 16 of 40.  I skipped almost a whole week of blogging.  Rest assured, I didn't skip my eating habits…  still going strong!  As I mentioned in an earlier post, I discovered that I feel my healthiest when fresh eggs and wild salmon are a part of my diet.  I usually have eggs for breakfast, along with some sweet potato or home fries, perhaps a little fruit, and yes, coffee.  I'm more of a savory breakfast kind of gal, so with no bacon or toast, the eggs feel a little lonely for my liking.  Luckily, they go great with salsa!

So, what's had me so busy, you ask?  Well, next week begins our official Freeschool year.  We've got tons of activities scheduled, some music and theater classes, we've joined a co-op, and have found some great resources to flowingly incorporate age-appropriate learning and skill-building into just plain old-fashioned fun.  Lots and lots and lots of nature time.  Aaannnddd….  chickens!!!

Yes, we've adopted half a dozen hens.  This was my project, so aside from helping me to load and cut some wood (I am petrified of power saws), my man is taking a loving step back to let me do this on my own.  The pallet chicken yard is 60% complete, we'll be doing some drilling and tacking up of fencing over the next few days.  The girls are still adjusting to their new surroundings (they came from the country to us in the city), so they aren't laying just yet.  Hopefully we'll have fresh eggs each morning in about a month.

What else?  My phone is overloaded with files, so until I can get some extra time available, this blog is going to be a little less visual than planned.  I hope to catch up after this weekend with some pics to show you all what I've been up to.

Until then, love yourselves, eat yummy plants, worship the sunshine and be kind to one another.  Shanti, shanti, shanti, you beautiful soul!

Days Eight and Nine

Well, it's been just over a week now.  I've been trying to keep up an intermittent fitness routine while wrestling little people.  A lot of my "workout" happens during playtime with the kids, and the various dance parties we break out in in the kitchen.  Dairy, meat, and gluten-free eating is still going well.  Feeling more clarity in myself.  Here's a visual:

Day Eight

Day One

The changes are slight, but they are definitely there.  There's less of a tilt in my lower spine (due to crunches and cleaner eating.)  Also the roundness in my belly seems to have a bit more structure now than it did when I got started.  Progress is slow, but sure.

Since it's my Moon Time, I'll skip the face post for this week.  Unfortunately, when Aunt Flo comes to visit, I still break out like a teenager.  :(

My energy levels are keeping up with my feisty kids' demands better than before.  A few sips of black coffee in the morning are all I need lately to get started, as opposed to a solid one and probable 2 loaded with sugar and cream from before.  I'm pretty happy with that outcome.

An interesting thing happened today.  I was out of pretty much everything I could eat in my house.  I noshed on some yummy gluten free pasta for breakfast, but between wrestling my little monsters into undies and clothing to make an afternoon appointment and being strapped for time, I didn't eat lunch.  I had told myself I wasn't going to be so strict as to deny myself the occasional order of french fries.  Well, I fed my craving, and I don't know if there was something gluten-related in the seasoning, or if it was that they were perhaps fried alongside the chicken, but I got an instant headache!  I guess I'll have to plan my trips a little better and stick to making potatoes at home. 

Not much else to report for these two days.  Just keeping up the good work.  

*Self High-five*

Day Seven

Oh, my God.  I'm not dead.

So, the past week has given me much insight into my Self and how I work.  For starters, giving up bread and dairy has been a win.  Though I'm usually not much into meat, I have been giving in to my fast-food chicken cravings for quite some time now.  It's been nearly a month since I last had chicken.

Still, I have a long way to go.  I need to incorporate more greens into my day.  Bonus if I can get my butt out to the Farm to get some really fresh from the dirt.  After much deliberation, I decided it would be in my best interest to include wild salmon and organic eggs in my diet.  I suffered with headaches and fatigue for most of last week, and, being an overtime mommy, I reckoned with the fact that I needed some healthy form of protein in my diet to stay strong and robust for myself and my babies.  I immediately felt strength coming back into my bones as I savored a piece of salmon on Friday.  The three days I went without fish or eggs were pretty rough.  I tried to rest a lot, but it's kind of impossible with little people around.  Still, I see it as a victory and not a defeat- I have discovered something about myself, and turned an unhealthy choice into a nourishing one.  Win.

Another thing I've realized is that completing a full yoga practice at home is just not going to happen.  I did manage to get up early and meditate, so I'm continuing that into this week and building on it.  As for yoga, doing a kids workout (usually 2 or 3, really) is something that is doable, and I modify as I go along.  Also sneaking in a few crunches when the kids are in a bath or in the middle of a really good fight works, too.  I do a down dog at pretty much every opportunity, and seated twists many, many times a day.  Still, I'm craving a "real" practice, so hopefully I'll get the chance to see my friends at the Savannah Yoga Barre sometime this week and get my asana kicked alongside a healthy helping of humble pie.  Lynne and Kendall know how to get you to that place.

I think some of the best growth for me so far has been acceptance.  You see, normally I go into these kinds of situations with this overblown idea that I'm going to have a life-changing experience.  All I have to do is do everything I do completely differently.  We all know how that goes.  Maybe it's having these lovable, forgiving, demanding, inspiring little people around me all day everyday that convinced me to go a little easy on myself.  Make small changes, take stock of how I feel, and beyond all my ideas and ideals, just have a good time doing it.  Whoa, man is that a game changer.

You mean, liking my jelly belly, procrastinating, creative, loving, meandering, dancing, goofy self is okay?

Not only is it okay, it's an imperative.

Day Six

Whew.  This one was a doozy.

Okay, so I have been having mad cravings for cheese.  Like, daydreams of pizza, grilled cheese, ravioli and lasagna.  Oh.  But I managed to talk myself into a vegan sloppy joe and some baked sweet potato fries instead.  Winning!  That put the smackdown on that nasty voice in my head telling me to go for it. Feeling strong.  Until…

Sunday.  Day Six.  Just also happens to be the hubs' birthday.  And for his birthday, and for our children's birthdays, even my own birthday, I bake a cake.  A little gesture of love.  A from scratch gesture of love.  This years cake was chocolate.  Classic, heavenly, wonderful chocolate cake.  Did I mention my deep and abiding love for chocolate cake?  Yes, if I could have married and procreated with a chocolate cake, mind you, there would be the cutest little diapered chocolate cupcakes ransacking my house and screaming to high heaven as I type.  Alas, it's a union that's still frowned upon.  Someday, maybe.

So, here I am, cravings coming at me from all sides.  Having been cleansing slowly for a couple of weeks now, and this being almost an entire week of no dairy or wheat, well, you can bet those voices of resistance were loud, clear, and obnoxious.  "One must take time to celebrate," a properly toned demon suggested.  "Dude, it's your favorite!" another persuaded.  "Well you have to at least taste it to make sure it turned out okay!"  That one was the kicker.  As many chocolate cakes as I have enjoyed in my day, this was the very first one I'd ever actually baked.  So, what if it turned out terrible?  "Just taste it…"

I've got a will of steel when I want it.  I touched only the teeniest, tiniest tip of my pinky into the batter to make sure the substitutions I'd used hadn't ruined the cake.  It was correct.  Perfect in fact.  Couldn't I just allow this one little dalliance?  Surely my adoring public would understand!  No one would stop being my friend if I leaked the fact that out of 40 days I could only really commit to six.  Chocolate cake has that kind of power.

Still, I held on.  I licked no spoons.  I rinsed my chocolate fingers under the sink and went about the business of icing this piece of artistry.  Man, that icing smelled so good!  I then decided a plain old chocolate cake needed a bit of adornment, so I melted our favorite chocolate down and gave the cake a generous drizzle.  Agony!  I managed to not only cut and plate up 3 slices for my big and little men, I watched them enjoy each bite.  And honestly, the satisfaction of seeing those 3 fellas happily devouring the cake gave me a sense of pride.  Not only did I create something out of love for my sweet man on his birthday, I celebrated alongside him with my own sweet treat- my dignity.

Winning.

Ahh…  the sweet taste of victory.

Days Three, Four and Five

So, I haven't made much time for blogging in the last few days.  I have, however, been making time for family, extended family, cooking yummy 'clean' food, meditating, getting in touch with new friends, viewing and buying art, baking a completely un-'clean' birthday cake from scratch while diffusing a raging toddler, and having gut-wrenching conversations about exposing my soul to it's raw and unapologetic future.  That's kind of a lot.

I don't have any visuals for this post, so I'll just focus on the spiritual.

First, let's revisit this '40 days' concept, more specifically, what I hope to attain here.  Of course, I expect nothing less than a lean, mean yoga body and trancendent mind at the end of this.  I suspect however that I will remain my very authentic and humble self, with a modicum of insight into who I am and what I want in this current manifestation.  Or at least I hope.  

Originally, I did come into this for the physical and mental benefits.  Now, I'm looking at it from the perspective of a wide-eyed internal investigation.  What motivates me?  What am I wanting that I don't already have?  How can I be my best version of my self?  What foods and practices serve me best, and do they change with my cycles and rhythms?  In those places in my life that I feel dissatisfied, is it me that needs changing or the situation?  How can I continue to heal myself and radiate that love outward toward the people I know who need love but can't give it to themselves?  How do I find my voice?  

Well, let's just say that I've already had a revelation or two.  More on that a bit later.