Torture, or Day 73 of 40

Okay, so I'm back in the swing of my very own personal nutritional lifestyle.  Let me be clear:  I am not on a diet.  I'm no longer doing a cleanse.  I am fully committing to eating the way I have found to work best for me.  It's a challenge some days.

I'm craving feta something fierce.  I LOOOOOOVE feta.  Really, I could probably live without every other dairy product in the book except feta.  And it's just sitting there, in all it's Greek glory, in a little clear plastic container in my fridge, just daring me to have a taste.  Grrrr.

I almost did.  I mean, what's one little bite, right?  One little bite…  would lead to two little bites.  Which would prompt me to make a grilled cheese with feta (if you can eat dairy and you haven't tried feta in your grilled cheese, do it NOW).  And then, well, I might as well be eating pizza and milk chocolate and all of the wondrous things I miss so very, very much.

So why the hell am I torturing myself?  Well, I'm not.  At least not in the big picture.  As far as food cravings go, yes, I'm in agony.  But am I not more than a food craving?  I mean, I am a healthy, sexy, wonderful woman, a yoga enthusiast, a mother of 2, a partner to my soul mate, an artist, a writer, a blogger, a friend…  I mean, damn.  I got a lot going on.

And speaking of torture, the agony of food cravings pale in comparison to the disdain of seeing my face all pimply and my skin dull.  I have been battling acne for 25 years.  Did you read that?  25 YEARS.  I'll be 36 in a month.  That's more than two thirds of my life!

So, I will take my torture in stride, because I am more than a food craving.  Maybe one day I will find some magical herb or meditation or spell that will dissolve my reaction to dairy (and wheat) and I will chow down on some feta cheese.  Until then, I will glow with the strength it takes to be bigger than something that has had a hold on me for as long as I can remember.  That, and I will kiss the Earth with gratitude that I live in a place where I can actually CHOOSE my food.  Read that again:  I have not only the choice to eat what I want, but to not eat what I don't want.  That's pretty powerful stuff.

Shine on.